Between Heaven and Hell

Day 3:

I didn't have trouble adjusting to the service in Buenos Aires cafes and restaurants. The trick is focusing on the fact that a leisurely dining experience is the primary goal. If you want to grab a quick bite don't eat out in Argentina. Allow the waiter at least ten minutes before he saunters by with a menu. Take your time perusing it, because it may be another ten minutes plus, before he comes back to see what you've decided. However, once you've ordered, the food comes just as quickly as if you'd been transported to a TGI Fridays. The check, of course, never comes until you've requested it. You wouldn't want to feel rushed, now would you?

Tay and I ordered the cafe con leche with medialunas special. For $16 pesos (US $4), we received coffee with milk, three sugary crescents, a shot glass of sparkling mineral water and a small glass of fresh squeezed orange juice.

Like typical portenos, Tay and I got a late start on our day. After our leisurely cafe breakfast, I was surprised to find it was already 1 p.m. Argentina is four hours behind Arizona. I ended up following Arizona time in Argentina for meals, and fit in perfectly here.

We then headed out to the leather warehouse district. This necessitated traversing via subway. The subway, called the Subte, was very similar to the metro in Moscow. This made it very easy for me to use. Actually, a lot of Buenos Aires reminded me of Moscow. The beat-up apartment buildings near the airport and the gracious early 1900s architecture were very reminiscent of Moscow. Even the bland but hardy food brought Moscow to mind.

I bought two 10-ride tickets at the subway ticket office. I did not have the exact amount so the person in line behind me had to pay me instead of the ticket agent, so I could get my change. Argentina is one of those countries where they never have change. In the U.S., you'd go through the same experience if you tried to pay for a $7.50 tab with a $100 bill. Only here, even giving someone a 100 peso note ($25 U.S.) to cover a 30 peso bill ($7.50 U.S.) is problematic. I quickly learned to hoard my change.

I fed my ticket through the turnstyle, boarded the train and navigated through a change of lines, feeling like SUCH an experienced old-hand. Finally, we arrived at our station and walked up to street level. But the "old hand" had forgotten her compass and I had no idea which way we needed to go. Luckily, Taylor had his cell phone with GPS and pointed us in the right direction.

While it was interesting to walk through the Villa Crespo neighborhood, the "warehouse" stores were a bust. In the first place, most of the warehouse stores were actually tiny boutiques. While they did have leather jackets for about US$50, they LOOKED like $50 leather jackets. Taylor fell in love with a lovely leather sectional sofa, but it wasn't going to exactly fit in our suitcase.

We gave up on leather and head over to Ave. de Mayo, a beautiful street modeled after the Champs Elysees. Our goal was the Palacio Barolo. Even though it is the tallest building in Argentina, Tay and I still managed to walk past it three times. We signed up for a tour of the building, which was offered only two days a week. We had 40 minutes before the tour, so we walked across the street to a pizza place that also offered take-out service.

I had a lot of problems here as you had to order and pay at one place, get your pizza slices at another place and pick up your drink at another place. Like most Argentine restaurants, this place was busy, and clueless tourists clogging up the system were not appreciated. We finally got the pizza and bottled water and left. I vowed not to return, but I forgave them for everything after one bite. That pizza was really good. It had a light, thick crust and a TON of great cheese. To apparently save room for all that cheese, the pizza had only a nodding acquaintance with any sauce.

Fortified by the pizza, we were ready for the tour. Tay and I were the only English-speakers in the group. The guide deftly switched back and the forth between Spanish and English as he led us around. The Palacio Barola's owner was a big Dante fan. He decided that as WWI was likely to destroy civilized life in Europe, Dante's ashes needed a new resting point. He figured his new office building was the answer. So he had it built designed on Dante's triology. Dante's ashes never made it to South America, but the building remains. The bottom floors were hell, the middle floors were purgatory and the top floors were heaven. The decorations, the number of floors, etc. all had tie-ins.

But even discounting all the Dante tie-ins, this building was worth the trip, simply for the panoramic views of Buenos Aires. Getting to see them however, was a bit of a challenge. From the top floor of "heaven," we had to climb six flights of very narrow winding stairs. They were so narrow that Taylor barely fit. Anyone bigger, would have to turn sideways. The stairs opened to circle walkway, with about eight balconies jutting off. Each balcony only held one person. I stayed long enough to get some pictures of the breathtaking views. Then we continued up about three more flights.

We emerged at the very top of the building in a glass room containing a large signal light. It was like being in a hurricane lantern on top of the city. We all squeezed around the signal light and the guide invited us to have a seat on the narrow steel girders supporting the room. There was no room on the floor and the rest of the place was glass.

Then we reversed the process, heading down to the middle of the building "purgatory" where we looked at an office furnished from the 1910s. We were also invited to be a "Facebook Friend" of Palacio Barolo.

Tay and I took the historic Supte A back to our apartment. It is the oldest metro in South America and featured wooden trains. We rested before heading out to dinner at an Armenian Restaurant. In addition to the Spanish and Italians, Buenos Aires has a big Arnmenian population. We arrived early for dinner. It was only 8:30, but the sign on the door said the restaurant was closed. There were, however, a lot of people eating dinner inside and a man at the door unlocked it for us. I later realized that this was the restaurant's way of controlling entry. When we left after dinner, customers were lined up outside the locked door.

Tay and I split a huge plate of lamb and a bottle of Malbec. American restaurant portions may be huge, but Argentine meat plates are MASSIVE. After dinner we hailed a taxi to the Tango show. The theater was beautiful and the audience, most of whom had eaten the overpriced meal there with lots of wine, were appreciative. This was a highly-ranked Tango show, but as I sat through the same dancers, costumed in 1940s suits, dancing traditional Tango, I longed for my idea of Tango--Jaime Lee Curtis with a rose between her teeth, draped over Arnold Schwarzenegger in "True Lies." Worst for me were the solo singers in between the dance numbers. They over emoted as they each belted out a tragic song, accompanied by a small band consisting mostly of accordian players. The accoustics were terrible and the sound reverberated. For this I was paying US$75 a person? While yesterday I didn't think it would happen, I had found something in Argentina overpriced by American standards.

But while they already had my money, I didn't have to invest any more time. We'd been to heaven earlier. We didn't have to sit through an evening in hell. Tay and I snuck out between numbers and caught a taxi home.